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Let these funny Ben Stein Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.
The indispensable first step to getting
the things you want out of life is this:
Decide what you want.
- Ben Stein
Leadership and learning are indispensable to each other.
- John F. Kennedy
In preparing for battle I have always found that
plans are useless, but planning is indispensable.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Eroticism is one of the basic means of self-knowledge,
as indispensable as poetry.
- Anais Nin
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So long as we are loved by others,
I would almost say that we are indispensable;
and no man is useless while he has a friend.
- Robert Louis Stevenson
Most of the luxuries, and many of the so-called comforts of life
are not only not indispensable,
but positive hindrances to the elevation of mankind.
- Henry David Thoreau
No part of the education of a politician is more indispensable
than the fighting of elections.
- Winston Churchill
Purity of personal life is the one indispensable condition
for building up a sound education.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Being a leader is like being a lady,
if you have to go around telling people you are one, you aren't.
- Margaret Thatcher
Winners Dream Big Dreams.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie 
When we step on the battlefield, I will be
The First Boots On and the Last Boots Off.
- LtG. Hal Moore
Management is doing things right;
leadership is doing the right things.
- Peter F. Drucker
Great leadership is not the visit of an unexpected fate
but rather a flame which is kept burning
in spite of the winds of risk and opposition.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
You don't lead by hitting people over the head -
that's assault, not leadership.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
The high destiny of the individual is to serve rather than to rule.
- Albert Einstein
The man of genius inspires us with
a boundless confidence in our own powers.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The supreme quality for leadership is unquestionably integrity.
Without it, no real success is possible,
no matter whether it is on a section gang,
a football field, in an army, or in an office.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Leaders aren't born they are made.
And they are made just like anything else, through hard work.
And that's the price we'll have to pay
to achieve that goal, or any goal.
- Vince Lombardi
Winners must have two things:
definite goals and a burning desire to achieve them.
- Anonymous
Leaders are those who empower others.
- Bill Gates
Never tell people how to do things.
Tell them what to do and they will
surprise you with their ingenuity.
- George S. Patton
The reason why men do not obey us,
is because they see the mud at the bottom of our eye.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Don't try to manage people;
You manage things; You lead people.
- Grace Hopper
It is better to displease the people
by doing what you know is right.
- William J. H. Boetcker
The glue that holds all relationships together -
including the relationship between; the leader and the led
is trust, and trust is based on integrity.
- Brian Tracy
Your success will shine as a light of hope
and inspire numbers you cannot total.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
The buck stops here.
- Harry S. Truman
A leader has the vision and conviction that a dream can be achieved.
He inspires the power and energy to get it done.
- Ralph Nader
The full measure of a man is
not to be found in the man himself,
but in the colors and textures that
come alive in others because of him.
- Albert Schweitzer
I cannot trust a man to control others
who cannot control himself.
- Robert E. Lee
To lead people walk behind them.
- Lao Tzu
Never hold discussions with the monkey
when the organ grinder is in the room.
- Winston Churchill
A leader is best when people barely know he exists;
when his work is done, his aim fulfilled,
they will say: we did it ourselves.
- Lao Tzu
A genuine leader is not a searcher for consensus
but a molder of consensus.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
The price of greatness is responsibility.
- Winston Churchill
Motivation is the art of getting people to do
what you want them to do because they want to do it.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
leading by example creates a degree of
loyalty and overall success
that cannot be achieved through
issuing orders from a lofty office.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When trouble arises and things look bad,
there is always one individual who perceives a solution
and is willing to take command.
Very often, that individual is crazy.
- Dave Barry
The signs of outstanding leadership
appear primarily among the followers.
Are the followers reaching their potential?
Are they learning? Serving?
Do they achieve the required results?
Do they change with grace? Manage conflict?
- Max De Pree
Some single mind must be master,
else there will be no agreement in anything.
- Abraham Lincoln
Great leaders are almost always great simplifiers,
who can cut through argument, debate, and doubt
to offer a solution everybody can understand.
- Colin Powell
Battles are won by slaughter and maneuver.
The greater the general, the more he contributes in maneuver,
the less he demands in slaughter.
- Winston Churchill
If your actions inspire others to dream more,
learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.
- John Quincy Adams
The man who promises everything, is sure to fulfill nothing,
and everyone who promises too much is in danger of
using evil means in order to carry out his promises,
and is already on the road to perdition.
- Carl Jung
Who hears me, who understands me, becomes mine,
a possession for all time.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The wicked leader is he who the people despise.
The good leader is he who the people revere.
The great leader is he who the people say, "We did it ourselves."
- Lao Tzu
It is better to lead from behind
and to put others in front,
especially when you celebrate victory
when nice things occur.
You take the front line when there is danger.
Then people will appreciate your leadership.
- Nelson Mandela
When the best leader's work is done the people say,
"We did it ourselves."
- Lao Tzu
Lead follow or get out of the way.
- Thomas Paine
The expert in battle seeks his victory
from strategic advantage
and does not demand it from his men.
- Sun Tzu
You manage things, you lead people.
- Grace Hopper
I must follow the people.
Am I not their leader?
- Benjamin Disraeli
The speed of the leader determines the rate of the pack.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
When you can do the common things of life in an uncommon way,
you will command the attention of the world.
- George Washington Carver
A leader is not one who says, "Follow me."
A leader is one who says, "I'll go first."
- Neale Donald Walsch
I suppose leadership at one time meant muscles;
but today it means getting along with people.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Example is leadership.
- Albert Schweitzer
Honor bespeaks worth. Confidence begets trust.
Service brings satisfaction.
Cooperation proves the quality of leadership.
- James Cash Penney
About leadership: No person can be a great leader
unless he takes genuine joy
in the successes of those under him.
- W. A. Nance
While most managers spend their time attempting
to predict the future accurately -
and while that's valuable -
the best managers are able to generate a future
which was not going to happen otherwise -
that is, a future which was not predictable.
- Werner Erhard
Leadership is the art of getting someone else
to do something you want done because he wants to do it.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
The most dangerous leadership myth is that leaders are born -
that there is a genetic factor to leadership.
This myth asserts that people simply either
have certain charismatic qualities or not.
That's nonsense; in fact, the opposite is true.
Leaders are made rather than born.
- Warren G. Bennis
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill
Hey, Marge. Isn't it great being married
to someone who's recklessly impulsive?
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
There's nothing wrong with being afraid.
We were meant to be afraid.
- the Woody Allen movie Anything Else
I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage
is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
I am always ready to learn
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill
Guilt for being rich,
and guilt thinking that perhaps love and peace isn't enough
and you have to go and get shot or something.
- John Lennon
The only advantage of not being too good a housekeeper
is that your guests are so pleased
to feel how very much better they are.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
This report, by its very length, defends itself
against the risk of being read.
- Winston Churchill
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.