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Let these funny Art Jahnke Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.
The difference between men friends and women friends
is that men tend to do things together,
women tend to just be together.
- Art Jahnke
Difference of opinion is advantageous in religion.
The several sects perform the office of a Censor -
over each other.
- Thomas Jefferson
In theory there is no difference between theory and practice.
In practice there is.
- Yogi Berra
I don't know, I don't care,
and it doesn't make any difference!
- Albert Einstein
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A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries.
- Will Rogers
I never considered a difference of opinion
in politics, in religion, in philosophy,
as cause for withdrawing from a friend.
- Thomas Jefferson 
The difference between school and life?
In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test.
In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
- Tom Bodett
The difference between stupidity and genius
is that genius has its limits.
- Albert Einstein
I am a Passionate Observer of Life.
I See the events, feel the emotions,
and recognize the difference.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.
- Reinhold Niebuhr (Serenity Prayer)
I will act as if what I do makes a difference.
- William James
Fear of difference is fear of life itself.
- M. P. Follett
There's a difference between knowing the path and walking the path.
- the character Morpheus in the movie The Matrix
It's the Consciousness with which we participate
in activities that makes the difference.
- Michael Beckwith
Calm provides clarity. Pause to consider
the gifts you have been given,
the difference you have made
and the direction in which you are headed.
- Anonymous
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I ...
I took the one less traveled by,
and that has made all the difference.
- Robert Frost
The difference between a successful person and others
is not a lack of strength,
not a lack of knowledge,
but rather a lack of will.
- Vince Lombardi
The difference between work and play lies 100%
in the attitude of the participant.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Whenever you're in conflict with someone,
there is one factor that can make the difference
between damaging your relationship and deepening it.
That factor is attitude.
- William James
You should never be content with so little,
when you can reach out for something big.
- Charles L. Allen
(This quote is about making a big difference
in the world - not about greed)
Be an Observer of Life.
See the events, feel the emotions,
and recognize the difference.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The "stories" we choose to tell about our past
are never what a video camera would have recorded.
We can tell a sad story or a happy story,
and neither story is either
more accurate or "better" than the other story.
The difference is that one story causes us to suffer,
while the other brings us joy. I choose joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There's a world of difference between truth and facts.
Facts can obscure truth.
- Maya Angelou
The difference between the impossible and the possible
lies in a persons determination.
- Tommy Lasorda
Death is no more than passing from one room into another.
But there's a difference for me, you know.
Because in that other room I shall be able to see.
- Helen Keller
Know the power of perspective.
Be a passionate observer of life.
See the events, feel the emotions,
and recognize the difference.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There's a big difference between a handout and a helping hand.
One's charity, the other's friendship.
- Little Joe' Cartwright in Bonanza - Rain from Heaven
There is more difference in the quality
of our pleasures than in the amount.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
A little Consideration, a little Thought for Others, makes all the difference.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra.
- Jimmy Johnson
The difference between what we do
and what we are capable of doing
would suffice to solve most of the world's problem.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
If humanity does not opt for integrity we are through completely.
It is absolutely touch and go.
Each one of us could make the difference.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.
- Winston Churchill
Two little words that can make the difference: START NOW.
- Mary C. Crowley
In matters of truth and justice,
there is no difference between large and small problems,
for issues concerning the treatment of people are all the same.
- Albert Einstein
What difference does it make to the dead,
the orphans, and the homeless,
whether the mad destruction is wrought
under the name of totalitarianism
or the holy name of liberty or democracy?
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Almost nothing you worry about today
will matter in a hundred years.
Think carefully about what you can focus on today.
Choose tasks that will actually make a positive difference
to your great-grandchildren.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Understand the difference between "failing,"
which each of us does often,
and "being a failure,"
which is a state of mind no one should
ever allow themself to fall into.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It's the little things you do
that can make a big difference.
What are you attempting to accomplish?
What little thing can you do today
that will make you more effective?
You are probably only one step away from greatness.
- Bob Proctor
When life seems overwhelming, just step back for a day.
Consider what is most important.
Focus on the crucial issues in your life.
Just let the rest of your upsets go.
You can't fix the whole world, but you can still make a difference.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The shepherd drives the wolf from the sheep's throat,
for which the sheep thanks the shepherd as a liberator,
while the wolf denounces him for the same act
as the destroyer of liberty,
especially as the sheep was a black one.
Plainly the sheep and the wolf are not agreed
upon a definition of the word liberty;
and precisely the same difference
prevails today among us human creatures
- Abraham Lincoln
When you are alone you are not alone,
you are simply lonely -
and there is a tremendous difference
between loneliness and aloneness.
When you are lonely you are thinking of the other,
you are missing the other.
Loneliness is a negative state.
You are feeling that it would have been
better if the other were there -
your friend, your wife, your mother,
your beloved, your husband.
It would have been good if the other
were there, but the other is not.
Loneliness is absence of the other.
Aloneness is the presence of oneself.
Aloneness is very positive.
It is a presence, overflowing presence.
You are so full of presence
that you can fill the whole universe
with your presence and there is no need for anybody.
- Osho
Each of us is of infinite value,
and each of us has the ability to make
a profound difference in the lives we touch.
We leave our most profoundly positive impact
on those around us by the nature of our lives
and the example we set -
not by how busy we are,
or how important we believe we are.
Setting an example of being loving, relaxed and joyful,
regardless of external circumstances,
is a great legacy for our family and for the world.
Self importance - ego - is not a path to happiness.
Focusing one's whole life on responsibilities,
without taking time for self-renewal and play,
abandons the joy and the true value of life.
I want my tombstone to read, "Inspired others,"
rather than, "Never missed a day at the office."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
From one point of view, one individual's vote
doesn't make any difference whatsoever.
The probability of an election swinging
by a single vote is infinitesimal.
On the other hand, if everybody took the attitude
that voting didn't matter, there could never
be a democratically elected government - at all.
So, does your vote matter? You bet your vote matters.
And, at least as much as your vote matters,
your intention for the future of the world matters.
That's so important, it's worth saying again.
At Least As Much As Your Vote Matters,
Your Intention For The Future Of The Entire World Matters.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
People who want to share their religious views with you
almost never want you to share yours with them.
- Dave Barry
No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective
In all matters of opinion,
our adversaries are insane.
- Oscar Wilde
There is no such thing as public opinion.
There is only published opinion.
- Winston Churchill
Too often we... enjoy the comfort of opinion
without the discomfort of thought.
- John F. Kennedy
Confusion of goals and perfection of means seems,
in my opinion, to characterize our age.
- Albert Einstein
No written law has ever been more binding
than unwritten custom supported by popular opinion.
- Carrie Chapman Catt
For me every ruler is alien that defies public opinion.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Hardly a man in the world has an opinion
upon morals, political, or religion
which he got otherwise than
through his associations and sympathies.
- Mark Twain
If anyone is unhappy, remember that
his unhappiness is his own fault...
Nothing else is the cause of anxiety or loss of tranquility
except our own opinion.
- Epictetus
We must respect the other fellow's religion,
but only in the sense and to the extent
that we respect his theory that
his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
- H. L. Mencken
Having a personal opinion is great.
Believing that one's personal opinion is absolute truth
leads to most of the world's troubles.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The two powers which in my opinion constitute a wise man
are those of bearing and forbearing.
- Epictetus
If you wish to see the truth,
then hold no opinion for or against.
- Osho
It is not he who reviles or strikes you who insults you,
but your opinion that these things are insulting.
- Epictetus
If an opinion contrary to your own makes you angry,
that is a sign that you are subconsciously aware
of having no good reason for thinking as you do.
- Bertrand Russell
A friend or co-worker shares a political,
religious, economic, or social opinion
that is opposite to yours -
does that drive a wedge between your hearts?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Errors of opinion may be tolerated
where reason is left free to combat it.
- Thomas Jefferson
The minority is always stronger than the majority,
because the minority is generally formed by those
who really have an opinion.
- Soren Kierkegaard
Each of us is burdened by an unlimited number of
expectations (demands) that we hold for the actions of others.
We "know" that there is a right way to do things,
and are often outraged when our expectations are not met.
Usually, we are unaware that we merely
have a strong opinion and point-of-view,
and are sure that we know how everything is supposed to be.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact.
Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.
- Marcus Aurelius
Your opinion is nothing but your point of view.
- don Miguel Ruiz
People seem not to see that
their opinion of the world
is also a confession of character.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The good opinion of mankind,
like the lever of Archimedes,
with the given fulcrum, moves the world.
- Thomas Jefferson
Value your own opinion more, and others' opinions less.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
People do not seem to realize that
their opinion of the world
is also a confession of character.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
There is no truth, only human opinion.
- Anonymous
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.