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Arsenic and Old Lace Quotes
Funny Quotes by Arsenic and Old Lace

Let these funny Arsenic and Old Lace Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.

Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.
- the movie Arsenic and Old Lace (1944)

In individuals, insanity is rare;
but in groups, parties, nations and epochs,
it is the rule.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

Well excuse me - we've got something
a little unusual going on here -
time travel, parallel universes,
or just a little common ordinary insanity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There's a fine line between genius and insanity.
I have erased this line.
- Oscar Levant


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Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again
and expecting different results.
- Albert Einstein (attributed)

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing
over and over and expecting different results.
- Albert Einstein

There is a fine line between perseverance and insanity.
At what point have you tried your best,
and it's time to do something different?
It's a balance - a paradox.
If you get in the habit of giving up
as soon as something gets difficult,
your life won't work,
but if you keep tilting at windmills -
madly trying the same thing again and again,
your life also won't work.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


 

Surrealism had a great effect on me
because then I realized that
the imagery in my mind wasn't insanity.
Surrealism to me is reality.
- John Lennon

I love and treasure individuals as I meet them;
I loathe and despise the groups
they identify with and belong to.
- George Carlin

Every experiment, by multitudes or by individuals,
that has a sensual and selfish aim, will fail.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

My vision of a real humanity is of pure individuals
relating to each other, but not tied in any relationship.
They will be loving to each other,
but not being possessive of each other.
They will be sharing with each other
all their joys and all their blessings,
but never even in their dreams thinking of dominating,
thinking of enslaving the other person.
- Osho (Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh)

Human progress is neither automatic nor inevitable...
Every step toward the goal of justice
requires sacrifice, suffering, and struggle;
the tireless exertions and
passionate concern of dedicated individuals.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

We work with the people not out of pity
but out of respect for their potential for growth and development,
both as individuals and as communities.
- Jimmy Yen

What is true of the individual will be
tomorrow true of the whole nation
if individuals will but refuse to lose heart and hope.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Manage through the uncertainties.
Practice appropriate actions and participate in healthy choices.
Value and celebrate the loyalty of the individuals around you:
celebrate their competencies and successes, as well as your own.
Build up your circle and reinforce it at every opportunity.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache.
- Mae West PHOTO

The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous PHOTO

Love is an irresistible desire
to be irresistibly desired.
- Robert Frost PHOTO

Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter
quite like unrequited love.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic

Love is like an hourglass,
with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
- Jules Renard

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
- H. L. Mencken

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner PHOTO

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
- H. L. Mencken

Love thy neighbor -
and if he happens to be tall,
debonair and devastating,
it will be that much easier.
- Mae West

Love is loving what your lover loves.
- Anonymous

Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran PHOTO

Love looks through a telescope;
envy, through a microscope.
- Josh Billings

The Wedding March always reminds me of the music
played when soldiers go into battle.
- Heinrich Heine

My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
- Anonymous

One's first love is always perfect
until one meets one's second love.
- Elizabeth Aston

A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)

I'd like to kiss ya, but I just washed ma hair.
- the movie The Cabin in the Cotton

Love is what makes two people
sit in the middle of a park bench
when there is plenty of room at both ends.
- Anonymous

When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein

The only true love is love at first sight;
second sight dispels it.
- Israel Zangwill

True love comes quietly,
without banners or flashing lights.
If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
- Erich Segal

A woman in love can't be reasonable -
or she probably wouldn't be in love.
- Mae West

The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson

Save a boyfriend for a rainy day -
and another, in case it doesn't rain.
- Mae West

Love is metaphysical gravity.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

True love is like ghosts,
which everyone talks about and few have seen.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld

Love is only a dirty trick played on us
to achieve continuation of the species.
- W. Somerset Maugham

Love is a grave mental disease.
- Plato

My boyfriend and I broke up.
He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
- Rita Rudner

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein

Oh, come on, Shrek, wake up and smell the pheromones!
- the movie Shrek (2001)

A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous

I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner

I want a girl just like good old mom,
who is different in every way.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Where there is great love,
there are always miracles.
- Willa Cather

We are not held back by the love we didn't receive in the past,
but by the love we're not extending in the present.
- Marianne Williamson

Love one another but make not a bond of love.
Let it rather be a moving sea
between the shores of your souls.
- Khalil Gibran

This is my ultimate fantasy:
watching QVC with a credit card
while making love and eating at the same time.
- Yasmine Bleeth

This day I will marry my friend,
the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love.
- Anonymous

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain

Where There is Love, Nothing is Missing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the wedding cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Ogden Nash

We are finally driven to monogamy
not by morality but by exhaustion.
- Erica Jong

Love me when I least deserve it,
because that's when I really need it.
- Swedish Proverb

Lord, grant that I might not so much
seek to be loved as to love.
- St. Francis of Assisi

Hate is never conquered by hate,
Hate is only conquered by love.
- The Buddha

Love is when the other person's happiness
is more important than your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Beauty is the bait which with delight
allures man to enlarge his kind.
- Socrates

True love is a process of co-creation
in which neither feels ownership or superiority.
Jealousy is a highly destructive force
for love and relationships.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there.
Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make you stop and clean it up.
- Jimmy Carter

He who marries for love without money
has good nights and sorry days.
- Anonymous

The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.