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Let these funny Al Franken Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.
It is easier to put on slippers
than to carpet the entire world
- Al Franken
Christian voters should start looking
at global warming and extreme poverty
as religious issues that speak to the culture of life.
- Al Franken
Love thy neighbor -
and if he happens to be tall,
debonair and devastating,
it will be that much easier.
- Mae West
In soloing - as in other activities -
it is far easier to start something
than it is to finish it.
- Amelia Earhart
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Driving me away is easier than saying goodbye.
- Erica Jong
It is often easier to ask for forgiveness
than to ask for permission.
- Grace Hopper
Persevere in moving toward highly worthwhile but difficult goals.
In smaller issues, take an easier course.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
To laugh often and much;
to win the respect of intelligent people
and the affection of children,
to leave the world a better place,
to know even one life has breathed easier
because you have lived,
this is to have succeeded.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson 
If it's a good idea, go ahead and do it.
It is much easier to apologize than it is to get permission.
- Grace Hopper
Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.
- Samuel Butler
To leave the world a bit better ...
to know that one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The less I take the difficulties of my life as personal affront,
and the more I use them as an opportunity to learn and grow...
the easier I sleep at night.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
It is easier to prevent bad habits than to break them.
- Benjamin Franklin
It's easier to resist at the beginning than at the end.
- Leonardo da Vinci
To know even one life has
breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
While you can and should keep your composure and happiness
regardless of circumstances - regardless of your friends,
family and co-workers - regardless of gossip, sarcasm, and negativity.
Nonetheless, life is much easier and more pleasant
when you spend as much time as possible
in the company of enthusiastic positive people -
not necessarily those who agree with you,
but those who respect your right to your point of view.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
This physical world is to our imagination as ice is to water -
pure water forms pure ice - dirty water forms dirty ice.
Consider how much easier it is to purify water before it freezes
than it is to chip the impurities from the solid ice.
So also, it is much easier to purify your thoughts
before they manifest into physical reality,
than to try to cut the cancerous impurities from solid reality
after you have manifested your thoughts into physical form.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
In many ways, it is easier to be a good giver than a good receiver.
The giver chooses the gift and the timing.
More important, societal and religious traditions
tend to elevate the status of giver and lower the status of receiver.
When the Bible (Acts 20:32-35) speaks of it being
more blessed to give than to receive,
I believe that a better translation might be
"take" rather than "receive," as the context
of that passage is "coveting."
Certainly there is nothing blessed about coveting,
stealing, begging, or demanding,
however the skill of graciously receiving a freely offered gift
is another matter entirely.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache.
- Mae West
The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous
Love is an irresistible desire
to be irresistibly desired.
- Robert Frost
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter
quite like unrequited love.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
- H. L. Mencken
Love is like an hourglass,
with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
- Jules Renard
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
- H. L. Mencken
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken
I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner
Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran
Love is loving what your lover loves.
- Anonymous
Love is what makes two people
sit in the middle of a park bench
when there is plenty of room at both ends.
- Anonymous
A woman in love can't be reasonable -
or she probably wouldn't be in love.
- Mae West
True love comes quietly,
without banners or flashing lights.
If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
- Erich Segal
Oh, come on, Shrek, wake up and smell the pheromones!
- the movie Shrek (2001)
The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson
Love looks through a telescope;
envy, through a microscope.
- Josh Billings
When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein
One's first love is always perfect
until one meets one's second love.
- Elizabeth Aston
Love is only a dirty trick played on us
to achieve continuation of the species.
- W. Somerset Maugham
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
True love is like ghosts,
which everyone talks about and few have seen.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld
The Wedding March always reminds me of the music
played when soldiers go into battle.
- Heinrich Heine
Love is metaphysical gravity.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
The only true love is love at first sight;
second sight dispels it.
- Israel Zangwill
My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
- Anonymous
Save a boyfriend for a rainy day -
and another, in case it doesn't rain.
- Mae West
A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)
I'd like to kiss ya, but I just washed ma hair.
- the movie The Cabin in the Cotton
A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous
My boyfriend and I broke up.
He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
- Rita Rudner
Love is a grave mental disease.
- Plato
Love Without Limits.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Love comforteth like sunshine after rain.
- William Shakespeare
Love does not claim possession, but gives freedom.
- Rabindranath Tagore
Darkness cannot drive out darkness;
only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate;
only love can do that.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
We are finally driven to monogamy
not by morality but by exhaustion.
- Erica Jong
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
- Anonymous
Love is when the other person's happiness
is more important than your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Hate is never conquered by hate,
Hate is only conquered by love.
- The Buddha
If (s)he's an apple and you're an orange,
celebrate your differences -
make a great fruit salad.
Love isn't about being the same -
it's about being sweet with each other.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You may call God love, you may call God goodness.
But the best name for God is compassion.
- Meister Eckhart
Lord, grant that I might not so much
seek to be loved as to love.
- St. Francis of Assisi
Love me when I least deserve it,
because that's when I really need it.
- Swedish Proverb
Jealousy is all the fun you think they had.
- Erica Jong
All discarded lovers should be given a second chance,
but with somebody else.
- Mae West
Beauty is an outward gift,
which is seldom despised,
except by those to whom it has been refused.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
We are not held back by the love we didn't receive in the past,
but by the love we're not extending in the present.
- Marianne Williamson
I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.